Kiss
by Scytherageroses
Summary: Xiahou Ba is blossoming into a handsome young man. Xiahou Yuan takes it upon himself to teach his son the joys of manhood. He needs a volunteer to help, unfortunately for him, Zhang He is the only one within reach.


**Kiss**

"You're growing older, son."

"Blossoming into a beautiful young man."

Xiahou Yuan just looked at his comrade, dressed to the nines in his purple chaps and pink feathered boa around his neck.

A thick eyebrow raised at the eccentric man as he floated around the bedroom like a butterfly.

"Tell me why you hang out with this man, father?"

"Because no one else would be his friend. I guess I'm just too nice." Xiahou Yuan replied.

Xiahou Ba sat cross-legged on the bed, still watching Zhang He dance around, when sparkles began to fly.

Had Ba been younger, the colors would have enthralled him, yet now, it's only unsettling him.

"As I was saying, son. You're getting older. I know the girls around here are just dying for a piece of you. Therefore, I should teach you a thing or two about wooing a woman." Yuan said.

"...as soon as I can find a woman to use as an example..."

"Father..." Ba said, exasperated.

Zhenji would never allow herself to be used as an example.

Wang Yi was probably ten feet deep in a pool of sake.

And Cai Wenji? Forget it. Guo Jia tried, and he's been sitting on the same ice pack for a week since his horrible ass-whooping.

So where did...that...leave...him...

Oh hell no.

Zhang He brought his fingers together and looked at Xiahou Yuan with the most adorable large sparkling purple eyes ever.

So shiny, Yuan and Ba had to hide from the light.

"Oh please, Master Yuan, I would love to show your son the value of a beautiful education." he said.

Xiahou Yuan sighed.

"Very well...you can play."

"Yay!" Zhang He yelled, jumping in the air with the grace of a butterfly, purple sparkles behind him, as he squealed for joy.

"Ok, first, let's start with the basics. How to approach a woman." Yuan said.

"Guo Jia already told me." Ba said.

"And now he sits on an ice pack after Cai Wenji kicked his ass." Yuan replied.

"Father does know best, my friend." Zhang He said.

"Now, where were we. How to approach a woman." Yuan said.

He began walking to Zhang He, who had one leg crossed over the other, staring intently at Yuan, and suddenly fluttered his long eyelashes at him.

Yuan stopped in his tracks and said,"Damn it, if you're not going to take this seriously..."

"But how am I going to get your attention? Should I...show a little leg?" He asked.

He began to lift up at pant leg, giving Yuan a seductive look, when Yuan sighed.

"Ok. How to treat a woman. When you take a woman to dinner, offer to push her chair in, like so." he added.

Zhang He held out his hand, Yuan reluctantly took it, and helped sit He down. As he began to push in his chair, He yelped as his knees hit against the table.

"Well, that didn't go as planned.." Ba said.

"You foul beast." He said, with a light growl,"you'll be lucky if I ever agree to date you again."

"He..." Yuan sighed.

"Next..engage in light conversation, and always pay attention to what your date says, lest you end up with a drink in your face." he added.

At the makeshift table, Yuan sat across from He, and listened as He began to talk about his day.

"So I said to Zhen, that dress was way too revealing! And she was like, OMG, what is Diaochan wearing! It was like a train-wreck! I mean I know Dong Zhuo likes his women to look a certain sexy, but my god, can you say tacky?!"

"He..."

Then Cai Wenji wanted to go shopping for some new strings for her harp, and we wanted to bring Wang Yi with us, but she was too busy sobbing into a cup of sake, whining about that gorgeous man from Xiliang...Ma Chao was it? Ah yes, Ma Chao the Splendid.."

"He.."

"I think she kind of has a thing for Ma Chao, I mean she wants to kill him, but with every rage turns passionate, just look at Gan Ning and Ling Tong! The man kills his father, and the next thing they know, Ling Tong ends up in bed with the man!"

"ZHANG HE! That is enough!" Yuan yelled.

He dabbed his lips with a fake napkin, pretending to finish his meal, when he rose from the table.

"I think this lesson is over, Zhang He. You haven't been helpful at all, instead, you've proven once again, why I find you so strange. Why don't you go flutter elsewhere, and let me teach my son the right way." Yuan said.

"But...your son hasn't experienced the wondrous beauty of a first kiss.." He said.

"I..I can't teach him that." Yuan said.

"And why not? It's how to express love..come here, Yuan..I will help you." He said, holding out a slender arm.

"Absolutely not." Yuan said, crossing his arms.

"Come, Master Yuan. All in the name of education, right?" He said.

Xiahou Yuan sighed.

"Fine."

"Now just watch, young Ba! The enchanting beauty of a first love's kiss!" He yelled, pulling Yuan close.

Then, their lips touched softly.

Xiahou Ba's eyes grew wide, as Zhang He wrapped his arms around Xiahou Yuan's large frame, and kissed him deeper.

Yuan replied in kind, returning the kiss tenderly, as his arms wrapped around He's slender frame.

When the kiss was over, Ba had fled the room in fright, and the two men had the room for themselves.

"But we haven't shown him how to express this love just yet!" He yelled.


End file.
